SJP Year One. Over. What have I learnt?
1. I absolutely, wholeheartedly adore my students.
- Despite minor arguments and occasional disappointments, I am overwhelmingly blessed by phenomenal students. I am particularly infatuated with my freshmen, especially for their faith - faith in their school, faith in me, and above all Faith in God. I can't imagine the choice they made to come to a school that in all reality did not exist yet. They trusted a promise of success. What childlike faith on their (and their parents') parts, and what awesome responsibility for us to live up to that.
- I made it a point to record certain things that my students wrote that I found particularly insightful... one freshman, reflecting on Joseph's sons and an article on their blessing, wrote, "These events make us stronger and realize that things happen for a reason. It’s like God has more in store for us than we expect." I could list so many more examples. Like a senior, reflecting on the media, "The danger of relying too much on the entertainment industry is that without even realizing, people may start to believe what is presented to them."
- I just can't begin to express how lucky I am to be in the lives of so many exceptional young men and women.
2. I need to believe in my abilities more.
- I have never felt so valued in any other work environment. After 3 years as a full-time teacher, I finally feel like I'm doing more than treading water. Like I'm actually succeeding. I no where near where I want to be, but I finally feel like I am a decent teacher. That's a big step, I never am confident in my abilities. It is so complimentary to feel trusted, competent, and appreciated. I'm so looking forward to next year.
3. I'm learning what my limits are.
- I'm beginning to figure out just how much I can deal with from people (and situations) before I hit my limit. I trust easily, but at some point I need to "let go and let God." I think I'm figuring out what that point is. It's a weird line to toe between, "I need to help fix this," and, "This situation is in God's hands." I am reminded of the Romero Prayer that says,
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an
opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.
I can be open to being "pencil in the hand of a loving God" (Mother Theresa), but no one can change until they make their own choice.
- I also feel that I'm learning my limits in over-scheduling myself. I cannot commit myself to everything - or everything will suffer. I'm learning to figure out where my heart is in the present moment, and giving myself all of that. Where do I feel most fulfilled? Given the choice, which option would I choose? In more cases than not, my heart is at school and with my students. I'm so thankful to have that clarity of mind and vocation.
4. In the same line of thinking, I have tried to get better at loving people where they are.
- People should be loved where they're at. It does not mean that we accept their faults and flaws, but it does mean we offer them support. Sometimes the best we can do for someone is just be a source of support and reflection of God's love. I have looked past flaws this year that I never thought I'd be able to. This has both helped me and made things more difficult. How do you love in a way that inspires someone to change? A question I'm still figuring out a good answer to.
5. Finally, aside from amazing students, I am blessed with phenomenal friends (many of whom are also coworkers).
- I am consistently supported by so many people, and often feel undeserving. In a number of ways, friends have been there for me throughout this year. I can think of those who's rooms and offices I've escaped to, or who's homes I've found comfort in. New and old, I have amazing friends.
Was this a stressful year? Yup.
Were there points when I wanted nothing to do with anyone? Yup.
However, the good far, FAR outweighs the bad. Growing pains, nothing more.
Despite drama and frustrations of others (and myself), I have adored this year. And I adore SJP.
